Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sara_nelley's LiveJournal:

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Monday, October 23rd, 2006
7:46 am	another day wake up, realise reality, then fail, sometimes succeed. thoughts and feelings too mixed up to realise. is there ever going to be anyone who will understand the ways. to move would be great. walk away from everything. start over. just a few things then im out. you "high powered" people wont have to bother with thee. who really reads what i type in these? :| i shall become stronger, will be alot more happier when i walk out. one thing will make it alot better. thing being person (person knows who it be). congrats,you make me feel better... just some slight problems,but we shall work around those, or on them. whatever. Current Mood: confused and there just Current Music: Flirt (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
8:45 pm	another week have had the first half of the manic depressive assessment, got to go back next week. am moving out of home this weekend,so im hoping to get the computer at my grandmas and get an internet connection. dont know weather ill be able to afford it at this stage. im looking forward to moving, ill be coming home on friday nights,but thats ok cause then at least my parents wont be able to bitch at me and ill still be able to drive. Two more months and ill have my restricted. i have to keep this "journal" thing for the manic depressive testing thing. wont get to see Karl for a few weeks,hes fucked his car, so hes got to save for a new one. all good though, hopefully going out sat night getting on the piss with Collin and his friends. all is going good, my pay went up,im getting more than i thought i was. so for the part time hours im doing im cranking on over 200 :D instead of the piss poor 100.. Current Mood: crazy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
8:31 am	the pain begins.. well lastnight, i came home from work about 3:30pm even though i finished at 3 i was still in the shop at 3:15, some crazy lady thought just because i was standing at the counter with my uniform on that i was still working,i even had my bag and was buying something. anyway, i got home and about 4:30 my back was killing me,which ended up in me having a huge assed annoying migraine. it sucked, Karl was going to come over,but i rejected him cause i couldnt stand the pain. at about 11:40 Karl texted me asking if i still wanted him to call in cause he was in the area (with weed) but i was asleep so i woke up around 2am and texted him back. read Simeons last entry just before,it reminded me that i need to get a doc appt too... WOOHOO!!!! people i use to talk to alot are coming back online :D that reminds me must get a chiropracter appt too :| gah damn.. anyway,i should go back to bed for half an hour or so..still really tired and sore.. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: Rihanna. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
9:23 am	3am mornings... well lastnight/ this morning i never went to bed until 3am...and then i never fell to sleep until 4ish.. the joys of being young dumb and inlove with someone you cant have.. isnt it funny how emotionally hurt you can feel but then when you think about it your still inlove with that person whos made you that way. whats with that.. even though they're hurt you really bad you still love them,and want to be with them. there is so much i wish i could know, yet everytime i try to ask things just get confused and i get bitched at. these feelings dont help, who ever invented feelings needs to die... every day that oes bye it doesnt get any better.. it becomes more of a self hate thing. ive tried and tried to get you outta my mind, yet it doesnt get better, it just gets harder.. im not over him.. i dont want to forget him but things are starting to show that its probably going to be easier if i did get over him.. i just want him to notice me.. at least smile and tell me he loves me.. at least when i was there i could get a smile and an i love you.. now its like im the worst mistake hes made. oh well.. i guess one day he will understand how much i really do care for him. Rihanna has some really good songs,ones of which that explain how im feeling,oh and seether too. i could listen to them all day and not feel any better or worse. i guess thats a good thing, some days i tend to just feel...and then others hate... honesty, love, loyalty, trust, respect, passion, communication, commetment, positiveness.... none of these belong anymore. all thats really left is hate,and anger... Current Mood: drained Current Music: Rihanna (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:00 am	i got told do to this... ok so an entry for Sim,cause he told me to... i dont really have much to as as not much has happened to me.. ok alot has but thats not really the point. i miss Sim. ive been hanging out with Karl more laterly. Work is going okishness... havent really been going though,as ive been sick as fuck.. going for my manic depressive testing on monday 14th. should be fun. get to sit infront of some random person i dont know with my mum and talk about "what worrys me".... Gossiping with Jacque is always a highlight of my day at work :) we always have something to bitch about...i suppose its not a good thing to goss but its oh so fun! we share alot of stuff. and its great to be able to get along with my work collegues. uhm what else... DL's moving over in Jan (well we hope he is). its going to be pretty good,im going back with him in two years to look around the states. ok so... the break up's been hard,but yeah it's good to finally be able to talk to him without feeling the need to kill something. Karls had to come around a few times to calm me down. he crashed his car yet he still comes around to help me out. AWWW and ive got the most cutest pic of him:D muahaha...imma hold it against him! ive also seen Collin...and a few old school mates,had a piss up one weekend,didnt last long as we were all too tired to do anything.still had a good night though. have got to get more people together and actually not feel like shit and get trashed with them. Saul's coming with me to the nats,its gunna be mean,i get to drive the buick :D WOOP *shakes ass* oh woah this is more than i thought i would write,and the only person who will read it is of course Sim :P shame, youll be bored by the end of it and moan at me telling me to write more grotty stuff... i did do something out the random the other day.... brought Rihanna's cd... sure its like rap pop stuff but damn the lyrics are good. got all my insurace stuff back,except i still havent gotten the ipod :| damn insurance bastards ripped us off..2 grand for over four grand worth of stuff taken, pfft. police found out who done it though,got charged for about 9 diff buglerarys (cant spell at this hour) ok i should probably go to bed, i want to go to town to buy headphones tomorrow.meh i wont go to bed,im not tired! haha. oh well. oh one other thing.... ive had so much to do for work its not funny.. making a cd STILL and then having to make a poster for our compitition..oh joys!! Current Mood: drained Current Music: Rihanna. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
12:20 pm	im fucked everything is so fucked up :| i feel like absolute shit,noone gives a fuck :| why is all this bullshit happeneing... i only want to be with Sim and be left alone,but now thats not even fucking happening GRRRR i fucking hate myself so much... why cant people see that all this is too fucking much for me? why doesnt anyone give a fuck? blah who cares noones going to fucking read this anyways.. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 14th, 2006
2:03 pm	still in wellington. im having such a great time down here. Sim's been so sweet looking after me all the time :) only thing that sucks is in the last few days ive come down with a flu, so im all snotty and blocked up and stuff,which really sucks cause theres so much i wanna do but i cant. i mean i probably could,but i find it too cold to go outside... Sim's got one more day of work then hes taking friday off so we can spend the day together before he goes to auckland and i go back home. that will be really cool. i really dont want to go home though,i dont wanna leave Sim again...it always hurts so much and really sucks cause i dont know when ill get to see him next... oh well.ill hopefully be moving down here soon *wishes for the best* anyways imma go ly down now,feeling shitty sucks donkey balls :| (Comment on this)
Monday, June 12th, 2006
12:41 pm	im in wellington!! yesm im finally here,been here since early friday morning,its now monday. its been great to spend the last couple of days with my bf,hes working today and most of this week,but thats ok he's thinking of something for us to do.well, thursday the night i came down to wellington i got robbed,pissed as fuck about that,about four grand worth of my stuff got taken,my brothers playstation games and the digital camera as well. only one thing isnt replaceable and thats my last HOLE year of art work :| and it had all my best art work in there too,what a fucking annoying thing,im never going to be able to get that back and i wont ever be able to draw the fucking things again. on other hand,i got my tongue pierced,its still swollen but its coming better slowly. i brought a new/better 021 cell phone as well. and im going to get my navel pierced sometime this week. ive had such a great time in wellington so far. got to meet Sims mate bec, shes cool,was awkward at first but then we sat down had a feed and few drinks and everything was fine,she apoligised to me about somethings she thought you had said that had upset me,which nothing had, so thats all good. Sim got up at like 4am or some crazy hour in the morning to take her to the airport as she has gone to melbourne. so when he got back we slept until the afternoon then got up and went into town. so far its been good weather, except for the rain lastnight and the wind yesterday..... oh and the earthquake that fucking woke me up and gave me a hella fright :| i have never been in a place while an earthquake goes through so that was new for me. Sim's been a real sweetheart since ive gotten here, hes been looking after me really well. asking if im ok all the time (which i do to him too) i suppose its just because we care for each other so much its hard not to ask even if it does annoy the other person. today i was suppose to meet up with a friend,but im not feeling good so i decided to stay at the flat. will meet up with her another day though. anyway i better go and get my hair dried,i dyed it the other day,now its purple haha :D i love Sim sooo much! Current Mood: groggy Current Music: disturbed (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
11:47 am	another goddamn damn... yes yet another fucking day,i hate it,theres nothing to do,yet all i want to do is be with Simeon,but no hes not replying to my texts and he didnt answer when i called him,yeah i know hes a busy fulla,but i mean like,fuck if your girlfriend/boyfriend texted you saying they really needed to talk to you,would you reply? i know i would,but then again,i care heaps about Simeon. ok so like,im working basically 6 days a week for the next two weeks before i go to stay with Simeon. i mean like WOOP!! 200hundy in my bank!!! thats just for one week! and i might get more than that now that im on a lower taxe rate!!! yeah i cant wait to stay with Simeon, i LOVE HIM SO MUCH! and for all the bitches who try pass at him,ill fucking kill you :| i dont care how overprotective i sound/am, if you had someone like Simeon (whos fucking awesome) you would understand why too. its gunna be interesting going down to wellington, i'll get to see one ov my best mates when she gets back from aussie, and ill get to spend over a week with my Sim :D anyways im off,going to take my parents for a drive very soon (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
10:35 am	i got told to do this :| ok yes its sad,i got made to update, by my bf (which i might add i love to bits)... anyways, im shitty, we are slowly finding out more about whats wong with my mum, which kinda sucks cause i just want this whole fucking thing to be over, BUT NOOOOO the fuckheads are leaving us in the fucking botton of the pit >_< ARGH... im getting really fucked off... and im going SANE!!!! ARGH its not a fucking good thing!! *wacks head over and over* so anyways. going to stay with Sim next month,should be interesting to see everything down there,plus his "friend" hilary (who i text more than he does haha) would have finished uni by then so me and her are gunna hang out some when hes at work... and ill also getta see some of my mates while im done,if they aint busy that is..but yeah.. BTW Sim,i read your LJ entries... why wouldnt i?(dont worry,you wont be the only one who sleeps in your bed for much longer :P muahaha) and YAY you got the net at home now,now i can bug you and tell you to get online to talk to me :D hehe.. i miss Sim.... :| and anyways i gotta go getta shower and shit..... i gotta go to town and transfer money and what not and get money for mum,i owe her like 170 :| Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: fuckingnon >_ (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 20th, 2006
9:39 pm	another day... well,i had an awesome time when Sim came up, for yous who still havent figured that out,hes my bf. he surprised me by coming up two days early,and yeah i got a fucking shock from that,i was reading the letter he wrote me and then when he put that bit in i almost feel off my bed.but it was awesome,meant i got to spend more time with him :D back at work without him now,which sucks,i looked forward to going home and seeing him when he was here :( but i suppose, im off down there in june,got my ticket,so now lets just hope my boss doesnt turn around and go no you have to work,id be totally fucked off. on other hand,things are ok, mum comes home sunday which will be cool. and now ive got nothing else to say so imma go to sleep :) Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: disturbed. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 8th, 2006
7:23 pm	another day.. well yet again another day goes by,i havent been all that greaton keeping up with this thing,suppose ive been too lazy..well not much has happened,been working,and i getta see my guy in 5days and OMG I CANT WAIT!!! weee anyways im gunna do other things.. :D Current Mood: drunk Current Music: sound of people talking (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
5:45 pm	IN MY PANTS!!! ok heres what you do.... first open up the programme you use to play music on your computer with... second put it on shuffle.. thirdly go through and write down the name of the first ten songs to come up and write in my pants after it... here are my IN MY PANTS list.. 1. blinded in my pants 2. she's alway's a women in my pants 3. down on the corner in my pants 4. du hust in my pants 5. beds are burning in my pants 6. peaceful, easy feeling in my pants 7. deep inside of you in my pants 8. breakstuff in my pants 9. photograph in my pants 10. set your eyes to zion in my pants.. once again i would like to thank my cousin for sending me this,i get it on myspace quiet alot but i never do it because its only the first song that comes into your head,and i can never think of a song... Current Mood: hyper and amped!! Current Music: photograph by nickleback (Comment on this)
12:56 pm	its wednesday.. ok so to start off with....this morning i got woken up by mum because we had to go to the doctors.. got up dressed showered had food all of that..got to the doctors.mum had her appointment then mine...im now on a low dosage of anti depressants and i have to take them for 6months,im not allowed alcohol while im on them...theyre to help me sleep better...and if after 6months is up,if i still cant sleep properly and feel really down,i get put up to a higher dosage,one that will actually be enough for me to say im on actual anti depressants...and im going off the contriceptive jab so now im getting onto the pill...so whippie i have to remember to take them everyday at the same time,thats going to be really hard for me.. and the lastthing is i had to have bloodtests (which i normally love having them sittting there watching the whole thing) but this morning it was different,it felt like they ripped my vien a bit,and it realllly does hurt! anyways thats so they can check my iron levels and what not,im anemic so i have to get them checked now and then. whippie!! what a fun next 6months this is going to be...so it means i have to stay within hamilton until i have all this sorted out..bugger. Current Mood: drained with a hole lotta sore (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
12:30 pm	another day.. well today is yet another day...lying around doing nothing..ive realised that since i normally cant go online on the weekends to talk to my boyfriend because i have bitches that spaz out at me,i just sneak on,so if they have a problem then they can go to hell:) but if people want to ruin my life so be it,they wont be in it for much longer if thas the case:) anyways this week has been alright so far. but anyways i really dont know what else to say but life is a bitch...live with it :P Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 25th, 2006
12:48 pm	its saturday... yeah saturday for once...maybe today will be slightly more interesting.. of course it will be,i getta talk to Sim :D *dances around* so far today,ive gotten up, and went into town with my brother cause he was getting his mates car...thats always fun! not...but its all good gave me something to do instead of being around here..its fun watching how many people cant actually drive....notice that alot in hamilton, stupid place... Current Mood: lazy, no im not! Current Music: some crap my parents have going (Comment on this)
Friday, February 24th, 2006
5:00 pm	ok so today... ok so i talked to my boyfriend lastnight,was good,went to sleep got up this morning and i had to hurry to get ready else i would have missed my bus..so i got to town went over to chartwell and had my interview...it went pretty good. after that i had lunch with my mother and grandmother (argh) that was alright i guess...after luch i went to see a mate at school,didnt quiet get there i got distracted from some other mates i hadnt seen for a while,so i waited around until my mate finished school then went back into town,got subway and came home,haha. now im sitting here eating and writing this...today has probably been my best day this week... and look at that yodas in my moving space:| STUPID CATS!! Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: none :( (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
1:16 pm	<td align="center"> Sara -- [noun]: A person who is a master of making ravioli 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td> Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
12:55 pm	thursdays :| ok so lastnight was really bad, i sat up for about four hours crying,all this shit to do with not being able to get a goddamn job, living with my parents, and not being able to see my boyfriend is really getting to me. i miss my boyfriend so much...he rung me again lastnight,actually hes rung me everynight this week. we talked for about an hour and half, he made me so happy an im so greatful ive got him,he was the only one who actually cared enough to cheer me up. anyways,i went to sleep after that and this morning i got up about 11 or 12.. i feel like crap and my heads spinning. what a great way to start a day you dont even want to start. haven't talked to my dad at all, he hasnt bothered speaking to me so i dont see why i should speak to him. ive got a few things to do for mum today but i feel so crappy im gunna end up falling asleep somewhere. anyways,the cats dragged around some chocolate cookies that my silly father has left out,dumb ass he can be sometimes. im sick of living here, all i get is this whole, oh dont be so down,yet they really dont seem to care much...and now that all my mates are back at school i have noone to talk to,not even my parents.like i try to talk to them but them never seem to care so i just dont bother. i cant wait for friday,at least i will get to talk to simeon (my boyfriend) more. and its free texting weekend so i can annoy him with all these annoying little texts i send to him.. he said he's going to start on part of my gift, such a sweetheart he is,he knows he doesnt have to give me anything et he still wants too.im still trying to find a really good love poem,but yet noone seems to know of any,and theres none on any sites ive been to.my poems ive wrote seem better than any others right about now. but we will see. and this is yet another day to have alot of boredism going on...DAMN place,nothing to do here except sit on the net or try find something to make,yet making things always costs money.so there goes that idea... Current Mood: blah Current Music: Papa Roach- scars (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
4:29 pm	GRRRR ok so today had been a really shitty day....and lastnight infact. my mum had this work bowls thing lastnight and my father was suppose to cook us dinner,and me not being able to cook a bloody thing right,went with out dinner,and all i got was bitched at when my dad got home,then he didnt talk to me,he had a shower and fucked off somewhere so i was left at home most of the night...and when my mum got home i had no idea where he was....still didnt get anything to eat,but by that time id past the hungry stage...so anyways,got to talk to my boyfriend lastnight,made me happier...then when i woke up this morning got up and had my shower and what not then i went into town to watch a movie,cause obviously how none of these bastards in hamilton wont give me a goddamn job,i have nothing better to do..so i went off into town,got me something to eat with the little money i had..then went and sat down to wait for the movie, i texted my brother and asked him if he could ask mum to put some money on my card so i could get dinner tonight, cause mums got a meeting after work and i know my goddamn father wont cook me anything...and those 2min pizza are making me feel sick,so here goes lastnight all over again... and anyways,when i texted my brother he went nuts at me saying what a bloody waste of time and all this other crap...yet WHAT THE FUCK ELSE AM I SUPPOSE TO DO!!! sit on the net at home all friggen day TRYING to find a fucking job im not even going to get? BLEH!!! so anyways,i got really upset and started crying...went to my movie got out came home,and now,im sitting here...writing this.. im sure my family dont want me being happy...anyways,ive pretty much decided if nothing changes by april im outta here...too bad if they try stop me,im 17 i can leave when i want.hoping my father will actually leave me alone tonight,i dont need him coming home and going off his nut at me again...and anyways...enough of my shit,until tomorrow... Current Mood: VERY ANGRY Current Music: some random songs on media player (Comment on this)